growing up

• ran around town and passed out my resume and filled out applications for jobs. yay for being an adult.
• ran/walked 6 miles. felt good. ate random meals today but they werent shitty.
• May 16 is my official one year mark of not relapsing into my ED!!! (bulima/anorexia). so i’m sort of proud of myself and i’m rewarding myself by getting a yummy low cal jamba juice :) { i cant run for this week anymore cause my shin splints really fucked with my leg :/}
• went back to my old high school for sisters awards thing. felt weird, being back in a place where you hated almost every second that you were there… and remembering all the things i messed up on and the people i wish i had in my life.  
• today was good though.
• tomorrow will be good too.
• one thing i really want besides a part time job and finishing my coursework for Ireland, is to be happy and normal but first i need to move on and i wish that would just happen already because its frustrating thinking about him when i know, it will never happen.
• i just want to be a fun grown up with a nice man by my side. thats all.

“Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.”

fat-to-fast:

Roundtrip flight: $702

Connemara Marathon registration: $94 US

One night in an Irish B&B: $60 US

Food and drink: No budget

April, 2013. 

Who’s coming with?

going to Ireland this summer for college study abroad :) so excited! :D

today i made a basic list of what i look for in a guy:

Physical:

• good smile
• thick eyebrows
• strong jawline
• dark hair
• brown or blue eyes
• tall
• athletic
• small tattoos…or a few idk
• stud earrings what
• skinny muscles…just, yeah. i dont like the super buff ones…

Personal Qualities:

• makes me laugh
• makes me happy
• fun personality
• smart
• flirtatious
• fun in bed
• good taste in music
• goofy kind of adorable
• sweet but strong
• courageous
• sexy
• likes watching movies
• likes trying new things
• overall good person who is spontaneous and not boring

yeah. thats what i want. so when someone thinks they fit these, they should inform me asap.

Reasons I should not be alone this Valentines Day:

I am a good girl, fun girl but essentially good.
I keep myself in shape but I love eating food.
I can cook too.
Little things impress me, not money.
I’m horny…like most of the time.
I have good taste in music.
I’m not clingy.
I like going places…on stupid little adventures.
I will love you for as long as you let me.
I will take care of you.
And most of all I promise to never break your heart.
Why am I still single…like why. I’m just wondering. Really I’m good for all that I swear.

okay so my day was quite something

• told my roommate i’m moving out because i cant handle living with her anymore. got bitched out at. my RA’s and my real friends had my back. they really fucking did. and i love them so much for it. there are nice people in the world and i guessi forgot for a second there but now…its all good. today was good. it was just good and heres why:
• i wore a sundress in 30 degree weather and got tons of compliments which made me feel better about myself
• my class got cancelled
• i went to safeway with a friend, had amazing talks, got some shit done, it was quite good
• talked to my mom about the roommate situation and she was a perfect mom and so nice and helpful and i love her
• my dad called me to see if i was okay. i love him too.
• my sister called me and said nice things about my sketch book. i love her also.
• my best friend back in CA talked to me and she is amazing and i miss her and i am so lucky to have her in my life.
• my old friend who left last semester came back to visit and it was so nice talking to her. she is such a nice person and i miss her so much.
• ate good all day even though i didnt go to the gym so i could have mac and cheese (220), an orange, gummy bears (260) and ice cream for dinner. and i felt no guilt. i felt happy. so happy.
• spent the night watching Archer, disney movies (mulan, hercules), rugrats in paris and zoolander BECAUSE…..
• my test that i’ve been freaking out about was cancelled for tomorrow on account of the blizzard!!!! YAY so hopefully there will be a snow day tomorrow but if not its okay cause i’ve got my friends, my family and my health and i’ve realized thats all one really ever needs sometimes. 
• today was a good day.
• it was a really good day and it was very much needed so thats why i’m so happy and thankful at this moment in time.

shower. work on sketchbook. fuck around some more. watch old episodes of 1st generation skins uk. good night.

64: i’ve never smoked weed but i’ve taken uppers once

63: i really love the book “The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake” by Aimee Bender

I want to cry because I’m so lonely but I ended up at blockbuster instead. Movies make up for the real friends I lack.